I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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