Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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