We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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