I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
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