Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
