just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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