Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
