I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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