Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
