We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
