gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
