so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
