while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
