My hair reeks of homosexuality.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
