bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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