Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
