just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
This is the high leading the old right now
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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