bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
50% drunk capacity currently
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
