I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
