your parents love me but you hate me
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
