I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
