look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Drunk is not a location!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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