I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
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