i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
accomplished twins. life is a go
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
