Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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