I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
