i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
is wine microwaveable?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
