i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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