Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
