with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
