why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
