The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
