My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Even my vagina gasped.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
