Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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