my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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