Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize