We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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