My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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