you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
My butt remains clenched, sir.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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