so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize