so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Randomize
