Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize