Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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