Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
