; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
