Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
