I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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