i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
