Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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