found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
