She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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