..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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