one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
