i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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