You're my little dorito
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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