Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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