The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
