You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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