Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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