i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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