I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
