I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
