you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
